Philippians 1:10
“that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ”.
My daughter gave me the compliment of being sincere once. That was great. She called it pure. It wouldn’t have moved me as a young person, as I didn’t know its value. I do now.
A synonym would be genuine. What you see is what you get. There is no act or attempt to impress. I think of an actor who can convince someone of being another character. We’ve all done that. It’s nice to put that away.
It reminds me of Jesus’ compliment to Nathaniel, “When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, He said of him, ‘Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is no deceit.'” (John 1:47). This was their first meeting. However, Jesus is showing His omniscience. This conversation confirmed to Nathaniel that He is the messiah. Also, one with no deceit.
We have all acted as who we aren’t. Why do we want to impress people? We want them to like us. While this kind of acting might work, but not to our benefit. We may have to keep on acting, then we lose sight of who we are. We are in conflict with ourselves; we aren’t congruent with our true selves.
When we act as another, we are at war with our true selves, which causes anxiety. We aren’t happy with ourselves. That is a problem in itself. God is pleased with us. He made us this way. We should be content with ourselves. I think of the water on the sea shore after a wave broke. The water is mixed with sand and there is poor visibility. Go 20-30 yards out, with the sand is at the bottom and the visibility is clear. So it is when we are content with ourselves. There is peace and calm. To go on acting like another brings anxiety.
Those whom we sought to impress may not like us. That’s ok. In fact, they are doing us a favor. We can’t be friends with all. We don’t have enough time. By not choosing us, they have freed us up to be friends with those that appreciate us. Yes, rejection hurts, but don’t see it that way. They are doing us a favor.
To venture out in those waters, we’ve acted and gained friends that aren’t a good fit. Do you recall how uncomfortable it was? It wasn’t comfortable, as we weren’t ourselves. It was exhausting. It’s relieving to not play those games.
Paul says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain”, (I Timothy 6:6). To be content with who we are is great gain. As was said, there is peace. That is a huge psychological benefit.
Peace is a fruit of the Spirit. As a christian, we follow peace. We come up to situations that bring anxiety, we back up and go another way. That doesn’t mean we never may stands and difficult decisions. But normally, confrontation isn’t needed. Go the way of peace.
Being genuine and peaceful is attractive. God will put us in relationships that He wants. I am casual friends with some that I don’t want to be close friends with. God has us so far. Don’t seek to make them more than they were intended to be. If He chooses to deepen them, so be it. Don’t force. Let it happen naturally.
Lord, thank You that You love us as we are. We don’t have to act. We can be whom You’ve made us to be. To be at peace with that and go with it. Thank You.