I Corinthians 7:32-34
“But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
Paul is giving a utilitarian view of marriage when it comes to serving God. He was unmarried and could give a great view from that perspective. It’s stated very well. A paraphrase is, “if one is married they are concerned about the particulars of the family as well as the things of God. Their concerns are divided. Which is different from the unmarried individual. Their single status takes away the family concerns and allows them to serve God in a much more focused way.”
I had a hybrid view of this. I wanted to get married, but didn’t want children as my attention would be divided. I shared this with my wife before marriage. In her mind she scratched me off as a candidate as a husband. She didn’t tell me this, but we continued to discuss it and I conceded to having children.
The efficiency of ones service to God isn’t the only criteria for marriage. Paul gave another reason earlier in chapter 7, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband’, (verse 2). The majority of people are in this camp. God created us with a sex drive. To live in a chaste state wouldn’t be normal for most. Not to say that we are getting married because we are sex crazed, but we have a need for companionship.
When God created Adam He learns that he wasn’t complete as a single man. Adam saw this on the day he was created. On the sixth day God created the animals, then he created Adam. God brought the animals for him to name on the same day. While doing this he saw that each of the animals had a partner, male and female, except him. Adam must have felt lonely. At this awareness God allows him to sleep and then creates Eve from Adam’s rib. Upon awaking Adam sees her and rejoices. That’s the norm of the human state.
What about Paul’s point about the spouses attention is divided by marriage and family. I Corinthians 7 is one of the few places in the bible that having a family seems secondary. I would say that it’s God’s will for most to have the divided view, family and God. The church is the bride of Christ. We are to love our spouses and children with great enthusiasm after loving God. Here’s what Paul says in Ephesians 5:28, “So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.” God wants that for most.
God bless those that are as Paul, having the gift of celibacy and are able to serve God as he does. God certainly blesses those with families.