Matthew 19:10,11
‘The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.”‘
Jesus answered a question from the pharisees about divorce. He said it was lawful only when there is infidelity. That prompted today’s question from the disciples. That is not to marry. Verse 12 and on Jesus talks about being unmarried. I would like to address His comment in verse 11, “only those to whom it has been given.” That is the gift of celibecy. The larger point is that most are to be married. It’s a blessed norm. Genesis 2:20-23 says, ‘The man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “At last this is bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ Because she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed.’ In a sense love stories are born here. All throughout the ages people will fall in love with someone suitable for them.
The opposite point also arrises, some will seek to divorce their spouses. That was the topic of the pharisees. But then Jesus talks about being unmarried and hints at it being a gift to a few. Paul speaks of the necessity of marriage for most in I Corinthians 7:2, “But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.” God put a sex drive in most people. It would be tempting for most to be unmarried.
Going back to Jesus comment in verse 11, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.” Here’s how the Pulpit commentary interprets this, “They to whom are given the call and the grace to abstain from marriage. These persons’ practice forms an exception to the general view of the propriety and blessedness of the marriage state.”
Society seems to judge those who are celibate. That’s because most share the common desire to in a relationship with another. We don’t see how one can be happy alone. This is ignorance, particularly when it come to the biblical view of having the gift of celibacy. Most are biblically illiterate, so they are unaware that God has gifted some with celibacy. They aren’t odd, but gifted differently.
Paul had this gift and speaks of how it’s a positive in I Corinthians 7:1-3, “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise the wife also to her husband.” A married person must dedicate time to care for the needs of his spouse. Paul is saying that the unmarried person has more time in their life.
Paul did so much in his missionary journeys as well as writing scripture. He was a worker and a producer. He maxed out his efficiency. He was one of the great individuals of all time. He being celibate gave him more time and focus than the average person.
I have a friend who I thought was celibate. However in his retirement has has some positive relationships with some ladies. I have a difficult time imagining life without my wife. She is so fun and such a blessing.
God knows what He is doing when He created us man and woman as well as the wonderful relationships that happen. He is a wise God. He is the creator of the love stories. Many see God as harsh and impersonal. Not so. All that is good comes from Him. Our world is started of the knowledge of Him.
Lord, thank You for marriage. To the celibates, their lives are good as well. Thank You for Your design.