Matthew 19:9
“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
This is clear. This verse gives one reason for divorce and remarriage, sexual immorality. I thought so until about five years ago. I heard a pastor counseling on the radio. He shared I Corinthians 7:15, “Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not underbondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.” This is an example in which someone becomes a believer after marriage and their spouse leaves. He or she can’t tolerate the spouse following Christ. This one is free.
What this teaches us is that we take the entirety of scripture to draw conclusions. This is an important study technique. I had the same problem with healing as a younger believer. Some passages seem to indicate that if one believes and receives that one should be healed. Then there are other passes that say otherwise. We take the entirety of scripture and learn that God heals some sometimes, but not all.
This is great. We aren’t to take one passage and build a doctrine on it. The balance of scripture gives us balanced teaching. Taking one scripture and building our beliefs on it is the mistake of the immature. I did that plenty as a young believer. I carried much guilt due to imbalanced teaching.
Today’s society divorces at the drop of a hat. It’s very sad as lives are torn asunder. Parents are at war with parents over possessions and children. The kids suffer the most.
The couple once loved each other. That should be able to be rekindled. But Jesus called out the reason. Matthew 19:8 says, ‘He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.’ The hardness of heart. Stubbornness. We want what we want when we want it. As christians we walk with Christ and it’s a common practice to sacrifice our will. That’s why christian marriages are far more successful. Not christians in name only, but those who follow Christ. The heart of a christian shouldn’t be hard.
I do marriage counseling on occasion. There is much anger. That needs to lessen. There are reasons for that. We need to get to the bottom of it. In scripture the great need of the husband is respect and the great need of the wife is love. As we learn to address those, then healing begins. Love can be rekindled.
Lord, thank You for Your Word. The balance of it gives a great life and a great relationship with You. John 6:63 says, “The Spirit gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.”