Ephesians 4:29
“Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification.”
This is a tough task. James 3:2 says, "For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body." No one is perfect. It's almost as if we will get better, but never perfect.
This is a good goal. Eliminate unwholesome words. It's tough. At times a funny comment comes to mind. Our audience may think it's great, but it may be course. Don't say it. This is tough as timing is part of it. We have to let that opportunity pass us by.
What helps is to know that God has us and will keep us. We like to be liked and to be thought well of. However, God has that. We won't be diminished if we let a joke go unsaid. Knowing God has us is quite a big deal. We don't have to work to keep up our reputation.
The pressure to make a course comment is diminished when we know God has us. We can rest. Proverbs 3:5,6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." We are acknowledging and trusting Him, when we let the joke pass us by.
Our trust in Him is about our worth and keeping friends. If we lose a friend for a shallow reason, then it is best we let the friend go. People can't be kept. They have to choose us.
If people like us for offensive things, then that is a poor reason. We will feel quite low, if that were the case. We need to feel good about ourselves. We need to grow to be above this. God wants to do that for us. He will help us, if we allow Him.
Lord, help us to be above reproach with our speech. Work within our hearts about the insecurities that may be driving us.