2 Samuel 12:22
‘David answered, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let him live.’”‘
David prays even though God told him through Nathan the prophet that the child would die. This is at a level that I don't understand. It does remind me of one of the parables Jesus told about being persistent in prayer. It's Luke 18:1-8, 'Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not become discouraged, saying, “In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect any person. Now there was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me justice against my opponent.’ For a while he was unwilling; but later he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect any person, yet because this widow is bothering me, I will give her justice; otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unrighteous judge said; now, will God not bring about justice for His elect who cry out to Him day and night, and will He delay long for them? I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?"'
Jesus was saying that an unjust judge will answer the woman due to persistence. How much more a loving God. I still feel there is a difference between this and David. When I see David's situation, it wearies me. I like that God gave a boundary. That tells me how far to go. David tries to press beyond it.
In my early Days as a christian. I didn't know the boundaries. I was raised in a a faith that had much guilt and "ought to's". My boundary was, "as long as I can" or "as long as there's an opportunity". There was much compulsion. It was miserable.
Then I learned of 2 Cor 9:7, "So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver." I wasn't giving my time voluntarily, but out of guilt. I clung to this. It was still fuzzy, but this was clear. I began to learn more about grace.
I heard other things. I Cor 14:33 says, "for God is not a God of confusion, but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints". I was very confused. I began to conclude God was not in these compulsive feelings. This brought more clarity.
Pastor Buddy shared this about guidance. "God, I'm gonna do this. If it's a bad idea, could You point that out?" This was only about things not addressed in the bible. That would have precedence.
I was freed from my guilt. It can still surface, but applying all of this helps. It rarely remains. The last Corinthian passage about confusion not being of God lingered. I began to ask what is the mark of God. Philippians 4:7 says, "And the peace of God, surpassing all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Of course, peace.
Romans 8:15, 16 brought more clarity. 'The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.' Our hearts cry out for God. Our spirits learn His voice. Our spirits testify together. We are making a connection with God. We learn His voice.
About His voice, Jesus says in John 10:27, "sheep listen to My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me". We begin to know His voice. It's not one of guilt and shame. Thank You, God.
David prayed beyond God's Words. That's up to him. It wasn't a model or a command. We are all at different places at different times.
Lord, thank You for Your grace and Your voice. Thank You for bearing witness with us.