Numbers 22:16,17
They came to Balaam and said to him, “Thus says Balak the son of Zippor, ‘Let nothing, I beg you, hinder you from coming to me; for I will indeed honor you richly, and I will do whatever you say to me. Please come then, curse this people for me.’”
Balak, the king, is resorting to other means to persuade Balaam. I will honor you and do what you say. He sounds respectful, almost flattering. He senses that Balaam has the power to influence God. I want to focus on flattery.
“Flattery is excessive and insincere praise that’s given to further one’s own interests”. Psalm 12:2-4 says, ‘Everyone utters lies to his neighbor; with flattering lips and a double heart they speak. May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts, those who say, “With our tongue we will prevail, our lips are with us; who is master over us?”’
Some are good at flattery. They do it because it’s effective. We always like to hear positive things about us. They heap praise on us. In our minds we are focused on ourselves and our needs. To hear someone else do so is inviting. Our insecurity opens the door to this.
The definition above says flattery is done to further their interests. This may be as benign as to gain friendship. The flatterer may just want to be liked. However, some may do it for more devious reasons. Balaak was trying to conquer a people. There are a myriad of reasons. Some guys attempt to lure ladies in an attempt to use them. Politicians flatter to gain votes.
The psalm quoted above speaks of the double heart of the flatterer. If we are guilty of flattery, we need to see the condition of our heart. It’s insincere. This is a bad place to be. While we may seek to gain favor by flattery, we lose our genuineness. This is a big sacrifice. We aren’t true to ourselves. This is the biggest sacrifice. We are willing to lie to gain something. As we do this often, we begin to lie to ourselves. We begin to believe that which is untrue. What happens here is that we begin to lose our judgement. We have an innate sense for things. Being deceitful wrecks that ability. It’s almost like a compass that becomes faulty. True north is no longer registered. We end us making decisions that would never have done. We are a lost ship that’s adrift.
Another loss is that it erodes favor with everyone else. Those that were to trust and rely on us don’t. We do feel this. If we are remorseful and repair, then we can mend the relationships and our genuineness. If we continue to ignore that feedback and continue to lie and flatter, then people don’t trust us. Genuineness is attractive. Some exude it. I think of Morgan Freeman. He’s an actor, so I don’t know if he is, but he gives the sense that he is sincere. We go to the genuine ones for advice and support. People will do that to us, if we are genuine. The very thing that the flatterer seeks, is lost. They may want favor, but it’s lost by those that know them.
Lord, help us to be true to You, ourselves and others.