Trials Bring Us Closer or Drive Us Away

2 Chronicles 26:5
“He continued to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding through the vision of God; and as long as he sought the LORD, God made him successful.”
This is what God wants. He gives this as the prescription as to how to please Him. It’s woven all throughout the bible. 2 Chronicles 15:2 says, ‘So he went out to meet Asa and said to him, “Listen to me, Asa and all Judah and Benjamin. The LORD is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.”‘
There will be complications. Through them we have to adhere to the Lord. I’m presently going through a complicated time with my coworkers. There is a fine line of being a good coworker and being an advocate for my students. I made a strong stand for my students a few days ago. It embittered my coworkers. Then I felt shame for being so stubborn. This problem has plagued me for a week. I saw my anxiety as being out of God’s will. So I determined to give it up. Now I’ve gone back to feeling like I’m on the side of righteousness. This is tough as it makes me anxious. I usually see that as a sign of being in the flesh.
This is a unique trial. Things are normally very clear, as in this is God’s way and that is not. I’ve been praying for God’s wisdom. I don’t feel I’m to give in. It’s tough. Is it times like these that get people off track with God? I do not want that to happen.
I did have a big trial about 20 years ago. I normally have trials that last a week, possibly two. That one lasted for months. It shifted me. I was used to my bosses liking me. That has always been the case. This time my boss was against me. I wasn’t sure why, but I sensed it. What changed in me was the fear of man vs. the fear of God. It chipped away at my fear of man. I wouldn’t say that it didn’t matter, but it mattered less. I learned to function in my job happily, even though there was disapproval higher up. I learned to look even higher to God. He would care for me. He did. Years later my boss was put in check. Our good family friend was my bosses boss. He just didn’t know it. One day she said to him that she was camping with one of his teachers. He ask who. She said, “Jim.” He said, “Jim!” in a mocking voice. Later she asked me if he had a problem with me. I said that I didn’t know, but did know that I wasn’t on his good list. He backed off then. God brought me through that very tough time.
Hopefully I’ll be more peaceful during this trial. God please guide me. I don’t want to be outside of Your will. I’m reminded of the Footprints story. In it the person asked Jesus why he was abandoned during the most difficult parts of life. He supposed that as there was only one set of footprints. Jesus’ answer was, “It was at that time I carried you.” The point is that at those low moments, the person was suffering and didn’t know God was there and actually carrying him.
I’m continuing this entry after the weekend. It was tough. I didn’t sleep much Saturday night. I couldn’t stop replaying the situation in my mind. I got together for breakfast with a friend Sunday morning. I spent four or so hours waxing the rv. During that time I kept reciting Psalm 23. My joy returned and has remained ever since. Thank You, Lord. I will meet this morning with all the parties involved. I know God will something good.
I have turned this entry into an exercise of venting. The passage was about seeking God and being blessed and forsaking God and reeping bad consequences. My focus was remaining with God in tough times. That certainly applies. I’ve heard it said the the same sun that melts butter hardens clay. Trials bring us closer to God or drive us far away. Lord, help us to remain close.