Matthew 1:19
“And her husband Joseph, since he was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.”
This was a difficult time for Joseph. Initially he was excited for the marriage. Mary was a wonderful woman. He had a trade and the new couple was to start their life soon.
Mary had taken a trip to see her cousin. This was a nice break as she was pregnant and was spared being asked about it. Her homecoming prompted the explanation. The truth seemed the wildest of explanations. Girls throughout history had become pregnant before marriage. Excuses may have been given, but this was a new one. Blaming it on God. Who can believe this story. It makes her appear to be lying or crazy.
Joseph could have brought her before the priests and had her stoned. Some of the town gossip may have encouraged it. Some of Joseph’s friends may have suggested it. He didn’t do this. The reason was because he was a righteous man. While hurt and confused, he didn’t strike out to inflame the situation. He chose to resolve it quietly.
How do we respond when presented with a confusing situation? We may be hurt or unsure. There may be public pressure. “This is how you should respond”, may be the suggestion. I can recall sparing with a friend in high school. All of the sudden it got more intense than was intended. Someone cried out, “The fighting Irish.” I had no ill feelings toward my friend, but felt impelled to fight. I don’t know how it stopped, but was thankful it did. I almost did something out of pressure.
The mob was influencing me. No reason, no thoughtfulness, just fear and outside voices. This was frightening. Lord, I didn’t know You then. Thank You for whatever stopped that. Joseph had a cooler head and a more understanding position.
The new couple was to enter the most intimate of relationships. So much hope and expectation. Then she’s pregnant. Betrayal must have been on his mind. “How could she?” What is he to do now? He’s a religious man. The law won’t allow him to proceed.
He chooses a merciful path. He is said to be a righteous man. The word righteous is a relational term. He chooses rightly in this relationship. He is backing out slowly. It says he didn’t want to disgrace her. He couldn’t have believer her, but instead of being angry about this crazy story, he takes the high road. He was doing this as privately as possible. He was going to send her away secretly.
There is no hint as to his hurt. This is difficult for me to understand. The confusion and the hurt seem to scream out. He was a wise, good man. He would have to grieve later. He saw the resolution as one that would be merciful and discreet. He isn’t publicizing it. The temptation is to say, “Look at me everyone. See how magnanimous I am.”
He certainly was a righteous man. I am twice Joseph’s age and am so impressed with how he dealt with this. I give myself to God and thank Him I wasn’t a participant. I thank Him that He has equipped me with all necessary to respond to that which He has put me in.
I think of the verse, “Surely none who wait for You will be put to shame; but those who are faithless without cause will be disgraced”, (Psalm 25:3). God helps us not to be the fool. Those that trust and wait on Him will be given wisdom in those moments.
Joseph was privileged to be the adopted father of our Savior. He was blessed to be the fatherly influence to Jesus. I can’t imagine. He was a steady, patient man. God equipped him for that role. Those in his town didn’t see them as special. Amazing.
Lord, help us to trust You for all things. Proverbs 3:5,6 are appropriate here, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Thank You, God. You won’t allow us to be the fool. You will equip us as we wait on You. Thank You.