Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Child rearing is one of the most important jobs out there. The woman’s movement roared against it. They pushed hard for a woman to put much into her work outside of the home. Of course, there is nothing wrong with a mom having a job. Proverbs 31 describes the sizable income that is made by that mom. This is meant to be a model for all moms. They are to use their skills to bring in money to the family.
However, raising children is the job of highest importance. This goes for the mom and dad. God formed the mother with nurturing skills that usually puts her as the primary parent. As in she would be spending the most time with the children.
Usually, mothers are more verbal than dads. Which fits with being with the children and talking much of the day. Ladies tend to have more emotion, tenderness and empathy. This is a great fit for being with children. They have so many emotions, hurts, frustrations and things that need a mother’s care.
A mom that embraces being a mom with time, nurturing and teaching is quite fulfilled. Maybe the happiest of woman out there. Of course, there are women who God designed for other focuses. But generally, God built ladies to be moms.
How about dads? Today’s passage charges fathers to be patient with their children. Moreso, they are to be integral in raising children. The passage says to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”.
Dr Dobson had a great affect on my parenting. In my 20’s, my focus was on ministry. I Corinthians 7 speaks much about focusing on ministry rather than marriage or family. I knew I was to be married, but not much emphasis on having children. My wife changed that. I acquiesced. Dr Dobson talked about marriage and parenting civilizing men. That had a great change in me.
I learned that marriage changes one’s focus from himself. Parenting does that even more so. I’ve found that the less I focus on myself, the more content I am. This fits in with what Jesus said in Matthew 10:39, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” I was blind to this.
I then began to learn more about humility, which is the lowering of yourself, so we can raise others. God is all about that. Jesus said in Luke 14:10, “But when you are invited, go and sit in the last place, so that your host will come and tell you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in front of everyone at the table with you.’” We don’t do that to have someone elevate us, but to attempt to bless others who would be thrilled with a good seat. God sent His Son in a poor family, who was born in the poorest of situations. He came as a lowly one.
All this is to say that being a parent is putting children’s needs as high priorities. That doesn’t mean we spoil them. We are to raise them in the ways of the Lord. So, we also teach them to be humble and to allow others to go first. But, we are to give them attention, love, instruction and so on.
To raise a child in the ways of the Lord is to cause them to be a blessing to others. We are expanding God’s outreach to the world. They become His hands and feet. Some may say, “My child isn’t following the Lord.” Yes, but “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”, (Proverbs 22:6). They may stray, but with God’s help, they usually return.
When it comes down to it, God’s ways are better. Better than our plans, better than the world’s ways, better than all the glitz and glamor that the world puts before us. Proverbs 3:5,6 is great advice; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct Your paths.” Fortunately, God led me to marriage and parenting. Both have been a blessing. I have leaned so much. Mainly that He wants me to be a blessing to them. Thank You, Lord.