Ephesians 5:33
“Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
It’s interesting that each partner is given different charges. The husband is to love their wives and the wives are to respect their husbands. I think it’s safe to say that each has different needs. Husbands need respect and wives need love.
We’ve all seen marriages that have gone wrong and there is no love or respect. There are petty jabs. It’s uncomfortable to see. Unfortunately faces come to mind. I was too young to understand, but one of the partners wasn’t keeping their end of the bargain. I should have taken my friend aside and mentioned it. Unfortunately it ended in divorce. Sadly, the abusive one ended it in a quite dramatic way. This was to that person hurt, as the kids in the family gave their affection to the kind parent.
The women’s movement attempt to say that men and women are the same. The bible doesn’t promote that. Women need love and husbands need respect. While I didn’t know this when I saw this rocky marriage, I felt it. I wanted to be away from them. It was uncomfortable.
This doesn’t mean that women don’t need respect and husbands don’t need love. It’s pointing out that they have different needs. Husbands are to love their wives as themselves. We all love ourselves. We look out for ourselves, we do much to have a smooth day. We should show that kind of care and consideration for our wives. Lot’s of small things.
The next comparison is to love wives as Christ did the church and gave Himself up for it. That’s a big thing. He truly gave His life to save us. It doesn’t mean He didn’t have reservations. Jesus said in Matthew 26:39, ‘Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.”’ There was no other way, so the plan continued and Jesus sacrificed His life. Husbands need to do small caring things as well as big ones. Even to sacrifice one’s life.
Husbands need respect. Men appreciate support and cooperation. It’s possible to cooperate, but not support. Those passive, aggressive attitudes that give cloaked resistance. When confronted, they act as if nothing is wrong. That’s dishonesty. That’s better than not having cooperation, but it’s annoying.
Loving and respecting requires trust. One usually needs to take the initiative. I Peter 3:1 has an example, “Wives in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” Giving the partner what they need is powerful. It goes both ways.
God in His wisdom gives great advice on how to heal a marriage. We need to hear this. Thank You, Lord.