Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Kindness is one of love's great demonstrations. It's very simple and undramatic. It's easy to overlook. But it is a great goal. In school, we teach and train our young people to be well educated and to achieve greatness. But kindness should be integrated within.
At the workplace, all have their jobs to do. We work to make the company a success. But being kind to one another is integral. We spend the largest block of time there. We want all to be happy. Kindness is key.
It doesn't sound like a manly attribute. We think of a strong work ethic, courage, determination and consistency. Kindness seams weak in comparison. It shouldn't be.
It's one of the nine fruits of the Spirit. It's the third one mentioned about others. Joy and peace have to do with ones self. The ones having to do with others are love, patience and then kindness. It should have a larger emphasis.
Psalm 145:8 says, "The LORD is gracious and merciful; Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness." God is kind. It sounds odd to say that. When I think of kindness, I think of a gentle, smiling old person. There is no threat. It's as if one's life of work is over. One doesn't have any thing to do, but be kind. Obviously a misconception. Some one with drive should also be kind.
I had an acquaintance in college who played football. He was a lineman. During the play, he was very hard to control. But he would put his hand out after the play to help a person up. His aggression wasn't personal. He could be kind during battle.
I feel like this may be my strength as a teacher. In time, rowdy students step in line. I think they realize I want the best for them. I gently push them. At first, they rebel, but they realize I'm not trying to embarrass them. I feel badly, if they don't get it. They begin to tolerate my questions. If students like me, I believe this is the reason.
As a teacher, I came to this on my own. I don't think anyone modeled it for me. My counseling supervisor pointed out multiple times that I was gentle. That surprised me. Like kindness, gentleness isn't one of the popular traits that guys seek. I've never thought of myself as gentle. So I ran with it. After this, it was on my mind, so I was intentional about it. Kindness happens to be a siamese twin of gentleness. When I was gentle, kindness chimed in.
I had one rough influence in my early years. He wasn't kind. There was meanness and anger. It was very passive aggressive. It was all disguised. Nothing was overt. Subtle meanness was his nature. He was far from kind. My mom was kind. She was a contrast to this individual. I didn't know how to handle his treatement. It would have been nice if I had an awareness to it and could call it out. "Why do you treat me this way?" Maybe if another pointed it out. "Why is he so mean to you?" That thought was never there. I knew he was against me. I just had to deal with it.
I can recall a conversation I had with him in high school. He said, "Now that you are playing football, you are going to experiences successes and have greater respect." The thought came to me, "It's no thanks to you." I had learn to shed the bitterness he gave me. I don't believe I ever adopted his ways. God was good to me. My mom was so wonderful and supportive. It overpowered his meanness.
This influence was the opposite of kindness. As a counselor, I would love to have questioned him about his influences. Who was mean to you? I'm sure, he had much hurt. I never sensed that he had remorse for his actions. When I came to Christ at 18 years of age, I would frequently apologize to him for my angry responses. I learned to defend myself. It didn't feel christian. He deserved all those comments. I didn't know how to maturely address his words. I should have asked, "That was harsh. Why would you say that?" It would take me five or so years before I learned to ask those questions.
Looking back, kindness and gentleness may have been God's greatest influences on me. In a rough and tumble world, He is kind. Therefore, they are my main focuses towards others.
Lord, thank You for Your kindness. You've worked it into my life and helped me be this way to others. Help me to be kind to all.