I Samuel 17:58
‘Then Saul said to him, “Whose son are you, young man?” And David answered, “I am the son of your servant Jesse the Bethlehemite.”’
For the second time in a few years, David had brought honor to his father. This is one of the commandments. Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you." David did a great job with this.
This can be a tough one for children. There are so many dynamics. There are abusive parents who make it very difficult to honor. The parents in that case are going against God, as they are exasperating their children. The created order is for children to honor their parents.
Some think that it's healthy for kids to push back against the parents. Partially because they don't have the confidence to do it any other place in their lives. So a safe parent provides an environment for a child to practice difficult emotions. A good parent gives the child room for this practice.
This takes confidence and understanding on the part of the parent. It's not black or white. Parenting is very nuanced. It's good to not get upset, but to be patient. Let them have some latitude with their expressions.
There are limits which should be enforced. This is helpful for the child. They will rarely show gratitude, but they need boundaries. It provides more safety for them to know that not anything goes.
Young parents have difficulty with this. It's easy to be black or white with parenting. There are reactions that tend to be too harsh or too lenient. Fortunately children are resilient. I've heard it said that doing it right sixty or so percent of the time is sufficient to produce a well balanced child. This is nice to know, as who does it right all the time.
To honor parents is honoring authority. The Lord wants orderliness and doing so is part of that. Romans 13:4 says this about governmental authority, "For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil." He calls government His minister. Amazing. In other places Paul admits that government isn't perfect, but still to be obeyed. The only point where it's to be challenged is when it commands us to disobey God.
God wants to bring order and peace everywhere. Honoring parents is part of that. The family structure is the lowest government. Just as we are to obey local governments, so we are to honor our parents. Doing so will bring a blessing to the child. Partially because of the lack of resistance brings peace, but also because of the promise of that commandment, "your days will be long on the earth". This is because God blesses the child's obedience, but also the parent has the child's welfare in mind. If there is obedience, then there is the avoiding of all sorts of troubles.
Lord, thank You for the orderliness You bring. If it be putting a life together or bringing order to society, it's a blessing. After bringing order to an individual life, bringing order to a family is the next level of order. You did it with David and You want to do it with all families. Thank You.