Parenting and Correction

I Samuel 3:13
“For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.”

This is a horrible end to bad parenting. God is sending Eli a message that his sons have brought a curse on themselves and the result is their house will be judged for it. I Timothy 3:5 says this about pastors, “but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?”. Eli was the priest to the nation. He was supposed to have been a model parent. Instead, the people were nervous to come to the temple for the sons would mistreat and overcharge them.
The bible tells us that disciplining our children is important. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” I don’t want to get into the spanking debate. However, discipline can be meted out with or without it. What is important is that children are disciplined from an early age. This passage gives the reason. The correction drives foolishness from the heart of the child.
A good parent doesn’t correct a child in anger, but provides gentleness and reason in the process. The child knows that wrong was done. Proper correction actually brings justice. Guilt can be wiped away from the child’s conscience as well as bring reconciliation to the parent.
The child shouldn’t have any doubts about the parent’s love for them. Good parenting should be a model of our relationship with God. His love is all about reconciliation and forgiveness. The Lord also corrects us in love. Romans 2:4 says, “Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”
Some wrongly interpret correction with harshness. True, at times emotions can be intense and uncomfortable. But just because something is difficult, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. Proverbs 23:13 says, “Strike him with a rod, and you will deliver his soul from Sheol.” Still avoiding the spanking debate, this verse tells us that correcting a child saves his life. Eli is a perfect negative example. His lack of correction produced unruly sons which interfered with the priesthood and led to their end.
To wrap up this entry on correction, a huge piece is flexibility. We need to be open. Things may not be as we originally thought. Taking time to figure things out is helpful. We can leave the issue open. It’s been said that time heals wounds. Children respond to understanding parents. A few hours (or days) allows for intensity to wane and perspectives to change.
Lord, thank You that You are a good father who models correction in love. Help us to be good parents.