I Thessalonians 5:25
“Brethren, pray for us.”
We need one another. It’s a normal part of relationships to ask for help. Paul asks the church to assist him with their prayers. However for some of us, it’s out of balance. Some don’t ask at all while others ask too much.
Rugged individualism is a concept in our culture. We’re taught that it’s preferable to do things ourselves and not to burden others. Some of this comes from the Bible. Galatians 6:5 says, “For each one will bear his own load.” This is true, we are to learn to carry our own load. However, a few verses earlier Paul says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”
These two verses seem to be contradictory. Not so. The idea is we are to learn to carry our own load, and to help others with theirs. If we all do this, then we become someone else’s other. They will help us when needed. If we can’t carry our load, then it’s too big. Minimize it so we can do it by ourselves. That being said, we will need assistance on occassion. We run into circumstances in which we are overburdened or our resources are low.
Those who are overly independent see accepting help as weakness. Their view is unbiblical. They miss the blessing of being interconnected. A psychological perspective would say that this person was taught independence in a negative manner. As a youngster, their needs weren’t worthy of disrupting other. Some would describe this as not being seen. They never experienced (or regularly) the care one could give. It’s real and a blessing to be cared for. This is not the experience of all.
Do we ask others for help? Do we accept it, when offered? If the answer is no, then we need a better balance. We do matter. We are worthy of being helped.
The other extreme are those who ask for assistance too often. They are capable, but if another is around, they will ask for help. They need to become more independent. Psychologically, a couple of patterns could account for this. The first is they don’t feel capable for the task. It will be wrecked unless they get help from someone more qualified. The second pattern is that they see assistance as love. They may have been denied that as a youngster. Thus they seek to satisfy that ache at each need.
It is demonstrating love to help these. It’s as if we are their caregiver who is repairing the damage done by their avoidant parent. We patiently help them. We can pray for them as well as inserting the occasional independence lesson.
Lord, help us to balanced individuals who help and receive help. Thank You for the church who is a there to help. Help us to find our rightful place in it.