I Thessalonians 4:13
“Brothers, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who are without hope.”
This verse references grieving. We all grieve when we lose someone. However, Paul indicates that our grieving should be different. This is because we have hope. The christian deceased is in a better place and happier than ever. So, our grieving isn’t for them. There is no “unknown” or frightful mystery. They are at peace and with God.
What should our grief be about? Ourselves and those who remain. Those who knew the person and were part of his/her life. We will miss the person. The deceased may have been many different things to us. They may have been close, warm and helpful. Maybe not close, but always a steady presence.
We will grieve, if we choose to or not. It would be best to do it intentionally and allow for closure. Much has been said about the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The acronym dabda is often used to assist in remembering.
The first stage is denial. The passing is often a surprise. We feel like we’re dreaming and that we’ll wake up and it’ll be like before. We’ll ignore thinking about it to cope with the pain. Next comes anger. We could be angry at ourselves for not being more involved or at them for not taking care of themselves.
Following this comes bargaining with God. If it’s after the death, we say “Lord, let me wake up and be different. If so, I’ll do …”. After this comes depression. The great sadness due to the absence. Finally there is acceptance. This will take time. These are predictable stages that we should expect.
The Lord will help us through this time. It’s hopeful that they are in a better place. Yet we will miss them greatly. God wants to comfort us as do other people.
Lord, thank You that the death of Your children is an entry way to paradise. Help us to grieve properly a these times.