Deuteronomy 27:16
“‘Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’”
Last time we addressed the father/child relationship. The father was to give love and instruction. Today, the focus will be on the mother/child relationship.
Isaiah 66:13 says, “As a mother comforts her son, so will I comfort you.” This is a crucial relationship. The bible describes it as so. In the latter half of the 20th century, psychology has addressed its importance.
The first three years of life, a child creates an attachment to it’s parent(s). It’s either secure, insecure or something in between. This attachment bond sets the blueprint for the rest of the child’s life. Are they secure or insecure?
A secure attachment is made by the parent paying attention to the child. The first type of need is more primary. Is the child hungry, hurt, sad, frustrated, lonely and so on. If the parent responds to these, then the child learns that their needs are important. They learn to have a voice. They feel heard.
If a child’s needs aren’t attended to, then a feeling of inadequacy lingers. They don’t feel heard. They feel their voice isn’t important or worthy of contributing. For the rest of their lives they are attempting to gain adequacy by their relationships. They could be needy, avoidant, etcetera.
The second type of needs the parent is to attend to are social ones. The child wants to interact. Nothing is wrong. The parent delights in the child and the child learns that she is delightful. All kids can gain this. Is the parent spending the time to instill it within the child? If the parent doesn’t feel she is delightful, then she can’t pass that on to the child.
The mother’s role is crucial. Attending to the needs of the child/children.
Thanks for our mothers, Lord. The comfort they gave us and the sacrifices they made for us.