Numbers 27:15-17
‘Then Moses spoke to the LORD, saying, “May the LORD, the God of the spirits of all flesh, appoint a man over the congregation, who will go out and come in before them, and who will lead them out and bring them in, so that the congregation of the LORD will not be like sheep which have no shepherd.”‘
Moses saw a need that he couldn’t fix it. He needed help. He saw that he couldn’t do it by himself. Are we aware that we need help? Do we ask others for help? We need to. God created us as interdependant, social people. If we aren’t helping others or getting help, then we are doing it wrong.
Our culture has an expectation of independance. “Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” is a common saying. Much of this is good. We get much of it from our faith. Galatians 5:2,5 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ,…For each one will bear his own load.” Half of this is telling us to bear our own load. Some of us need help here. We are overly dependant on others and are wearing them out. Others are too independant and thus are incomplete.
Attachment theories tell us that if we are too independant, we didn’t get our needs recognized as children. We may have been shamed for them or they may have been ignored. So, we feel embarrassed or weak when they surface. We feel strong by keeping them to ourselves. This is bad for us and our families. We tend to pass this attitude on to our kids.
The other reaction to “not getting our needs met as children” is to be needy. We latch on to a caring person. We aren’t used to getting satisfied, so we don’t recognize when they’ve given enough. We don’t stop and thank them. We keep sapping them of everything they can give.
We need to keep the balance of Galatians 5, bearing our own burden, then bearing one another’s burdens. We need to alternate. In counseling, advice is often given to the counselee to get involved in ministry or some type of service. It’s good for the needy, self focused person to put the focus on others.
Conversely, the fiercely independant ones need to disclose their needs to their friends. This will feel awkward, but it will crack the shell surounding their emotions. Presently, they don’t feel their own emotions, therefore they don’t feel the pain of others.
I am on the indepent side of the scale. I am trying to ask others for help. The calouses built up around my emotions are getting thinner. I am getting more compassionate towards others. Moses prayed for help. He knew he couldn’t meet the needs of this nation.
Lord, help us to be aware when we need help. Give us the courage to ask You and others for it.
I am on the indepent side of the scale. I am trying to ask others for help. The calouses built up around my emotions are getting thinner. I am getting more compassionate towards others. Moses prayed for help. He knew he couldn’t meet the needs of this nation.
Lord, help us to be aware when we need help. Give us the courage to ask You and others for it.